Shrekposting Cuz Another 8 Hour Session
Shrekposting Cuz Another 8 Hour Session
Blog Article
Man, this gig really drains. I'm so dead I could just fall asleep. All I wanna do is drink some juice and stare at the ceiling for hours. But first, gotta share a few Onion Knight memes to celebrate the struggle. Existence is a real circus, man.
The climb up the corporate ladder is merely a trek towards Shrek's swamp
Sure, they tell you it's all about ambition, about scaling to the top and commanding your little empire. They paint a picture of wealth, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.
You're going to long shifts, meetings that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing competitors. Your goals? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.
- And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your blazers will impress anyone down here?
- Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of mud boots
So next time climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just bamboozled by the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?
Heading: "Important Meeting" - My Being: "Like an Onion, Shrek."
You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something click here akin to a Shrek-themed onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.
Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.
- I need coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
- Maybe I should busy with something else.
- Can I survive this meeting without losing my mind?
This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Superhuman Might
Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like a hungry goblin. It would just need some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the kind of power that only a superhero could muster. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting material.
- How about a legion of trolls?
- This document demands an atomic bomb
- I'm demanding caffeine injections
Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers
The idea of leisure this weekend is just ridiculous. My desk is currently a fortress of documents, each one demanding my attention. Honestly, I'm more thrilled about devouring this tower of work than I am about watching some Netflix. Maybe a Sunday binge of caffeine and scanning is more my speed.
Full Time Work Makes Me Feel Like a Donkey in a Corporate Stable
I'm chained in this office machine. Every day feels like I'm shuffling along, just another donkey in the stable. I'm burned out from pushing this load day after day. I long about escaping.
- Maybe I'll become a farmer and actually be around animals that enjoy their work.
- {Or maybe I'll learn a new skill and finally live on my own terms.
- {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not sustainable.